The only real test of intelligence is if you get what you want out of life. – Naval Ravikant
There’s a feeling every person knows. A pull to find purpose, to do work that means something.
But purpose is a difficult thing. We don’t wake up knowing what we’re made for or what our strengths are. We aren’t handed purpose by society. Most of us find it the hard way, if we ever find it at all. We stumble, fall, and get up again. Some of us do that our whole lives.
This is the journey to self-actualization. It’s a road we’re on, whether we know it or not.
If everyone understood self-actualization, the journey would be easier. But we get distracted. We got lost in goals that have to do with money, or status, or other elements of ego.
Self-actualization is a state of being, when we have agency, when we have loving relationships, when we have security, and when we have contentment. Most people don’t get there. But that’s because nobody teaches us how. We just leave it up to luck.
But there are a couple of things we can do to get ourselves a good start. We can look at our values and our strengths, and use those two things to find a purposeful way of being.
Understanding your values.
This is no ordinary stock-taking. Knowing what you value is about peeling back your own skin to see what you’re made of. Most people avoid this. They like comfort. They never look under the surface, afraid of what they might find. But if you want to know who you are, this is where you start.
Take a hard look at what truly matters to you—not what you’ve been told to care about. That’s just someone else’s story, and it will never . Think instead of what makes you lose time or feel alive. Think of the choices that make you proud, the ones you can stand by when there’s no one left to applaud. This is the soil you’re rooted in, and without it, you’re bound to be swept away.
Understanding your strengths.
This isn’t about the skills on a resume or the talents someone once noticed in you. This is about knowing the edges of your own power. When you’re good at something, you feel it. There’s a force to it, a pull. But if you don’t know your own strengths, you risk wandering through life half-blind. You’ll reach for things that aren’t meant for you, and worse, you’ll ignore the ones that are.
People like to call these strengths “gifts” as if they came wrapped up in a bow. But most of the time, they’re hard-won. They’re muscles built up over years of hard work, the courage to get back up after life knocks you flat. Maybe you’ve been through hell and have a strength for resilience. Maybe you’ve seen how people suffer and have a knack for compassion. Whatever it is, find it, and don’t turn away.
Acting with purpose.
So now you know what you value and what you’re good at, there’s only one thing left to do: use it.
People who act with purpose are like a sharpened blade. They know where they’re going, and they know why they’re going there. And this is rare. Most people drift through life, following one thing, then the next, until they’re tired and wondering where all the time went.
When you have purpose, you cut away the noise. You become harder to influence, harder to sway. You stop trying to be someone else, and you start being exactly who you are. Purpose gives you agency, and with agency comes power. You make decisions that are right for you, decisions that lead somewhere. And over time, these decisions build on each other.
This is how success happens—not by accident, but by choosing the same purpose, day after day.
In the end, self-actualization isn’t a goal. It’s knowing what you stand for, knowing where your strength lies, and living each day as if it matters. It’s a quiet kind of win, the kind that doesn’t need applause, just the satisfaction of knowing you’re on the right road.
